Written by Kaiser at Celebitchy

As many know, I think Taylor Momsen is a little pantless brat, a poseur, a little girl who tries and fails to be hardcore. She’s 16-years-old, she’s on Gossip Girl, she’s “in a band” and she doesn’t think that she’s the cat’s meow. And this interview she did with Parade (Parade = so not hardcore) is just further evidence of everything I think of her.

Beyond the boring crap about Gossip Girl (“Jenny gets involved with a couple of different guys and there’s lots of drama”), Momsen talks about fame (“I’m not Paris Hilton…. celebrity is so stupid. I want to be who I am because, if I lose that, then what am I doing this for? It’s not about fitting in. If you don’t fit in as yourself, then you don’t fit in.”) and about her smoking habit (“I smoke, so what?”). Ugh. Try not to roll your eyes through this one, it’s difficult for us “sellouts” to realize how amazingly hardcore and angsty (for cause!) Taylor is:

 

Written by Kaiser at Celebitchy

I missed some of these photos when I wrote on Sunday (correctly) that Brad and Angelina weren’t going to be attending the Oscars. Instead of flying to LA for Hollywood’s biggest night, the Brangelina gang (minus the gerbils and the twins) went to a birthday party. It seems like the party was thrown by Angelina’s Tourist director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck for one of his three kids. Judging solely from the photos, it does seem like the kids - especially Shiloh, who seems to have taken a special liking to van Donnersmarck, who is holding her in these photos - had a good time. Don’t judge the day by Empress Zahara’s fabulous little bitchface. She’s throwing that “I’ll shank you” look to the paparazzi. Her look says it all - “You a-holes can’t even let me enjoy some birthday cake?”

 

Written by Kaiser at Celebitchy

I don’t know what has gotten into Tim Gunn lately, but I love it. A few weeks ago, he declared that the Kardashian women had “an absence of taste” (and he also bashed the Jersey Shore kids). Now it seems that Tim is really on the war path regarding the Kardashian and their alleged “style” and he’s going even further in his criticism. These are the words he uses: cheapness, tawdriness, largely vulgar, and poser. Chuckle. God, I love Tim:

Tim Gunn has turned his critical eye towards the Kardashian sisters’ fashion sense. The style guru, who is usually polite and soft-spoken outside the confines of “Project Runway,” appears to have put the hit reality- show girls in his sights — and has been firing away for weeks.

He stepped up his sneers on “The Joy Behar Show” last week, saying that while the Kardashian style — which gravitates towards skin- tight, butt-enhancing and cleavage-bearing — “may have some sexiness to it, I find it’s largely vulgar.”

Gunn went on to say that their look “has a cheapness and a tawdriness [to it].”

The Kardashian bashing began when the “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” stars — Kim, 29, Kourtney, 30, and Khloe, 25 — unveiled the special collection they designed for Bebe during last month’s Fashion Week. It’s the first of five sea sons worth of clothes that the girls will be designing.

 

Written by Kaiser at Celebitchy

Whenever I sit down and watch or read a Miley Cyrus interview, I feel like I’m being slowly lobotomized. Why does she always sound like she mid-gum-smack? It’s not even that she’s chewing gum, that’s just the way she talks, and no one has told her that she needs to work on her speech and diction. But I digress - so, I sat down and read this new Teen Vogue interview with Miley and her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth, all for their film together, The Last Song. I have to say, when you’re just reading her words and not hearing her voice, it’s not as bad. Note this about the interview (full piece here): it was supposed be an interview with both Liam and Miley, and see how much Miley talks over Liam:

TEEN VOGUE: Miley, before you went to Georgia to film The Last Song, you had just gotten out of a relationship. How did you change over the next few months?
MILEY CYRUS: In L.A., I had so many security blankets, people helping me with everything. I tried to book my friend a flight, and I didn’t know how because I was used to someone doing it for me. I didn’t want a babysitter anymore. I came to Tybee Island crying harder than I had ever cried in my life—and I left with the biggest smile on my face.

 

Written by Kaiser at Celebitchy

Just FYI, I’m going to do an epic Worst Dressed post later on, and it’s probably going to be crazy long just because of the Parade of Fug coming down the Oscar red carpet. It’s a little unbelievable how horrible the dresses were for the most part… but I digress. This post is for the best dressed, few and far between. So, let’s start with the newest queen/princess of Hollywood, Sandra Bullock (above). I loved this dress, mostly because Sandy was the one to wear it. It complimented her figure, it was a good (not great) color on her, and the detailing was especially pretty. It photographed well, which Sandy doesn’t always think about with her fashion. I think this was a big fashion win.

Now, I gasped when I saw Meryl. This is the kind of dress you wear when you’re the Grand Dame of Hollywood. She looked like a queen, she really did. Beautiful cut on the dress (designed by Project Runway alum Chris March, who also did her Golden Globes dress), and absolutely gorgeous styling - great hair, stellar makeup, and it was just the prettiest I’ve seen Meryl look in a long time.

 

Written by Kaiser at Celebitchy

 

Now for the most horrible dresses that should have never seen the red carpet, ever. It wasn’t even halfway through the E! red carpet show when I realized how horrible it was. Some of these women are so beautiful, and it’s totally pathetic how epic the FAIL was. Like Zoe Saldana up there. She’s styled by Rachel Zoe, and both of them should have known better. I don’t care who designed it. You don’t show up at the damn Oscars with bathmats sewn to the bottom of your Oscar dress. Period. The end.

I don’t even know why Nicole Richie was there. But I know she looked like a 50-something Connecticut housewife hostessing a key party in 1975. Ridiculous.

 

Written by Kaiser at Celebitchy

I was thinking about writing something along these lines yesterday, but I’m glad I waited. It seems the backlash continues to grow against this week’s Life & Style cover featuring Shiloh Jolie-Pitt’s tomboy ways. Perhaps this is because L&S did the craziest, most hysterical, most disgusting piece on how “Angelina is turning Shiloh into a boy” and the piece even featured a snotty quote from a spokesperson from Focus on the Family who farted out some nonsense about “Little girls have never been women before… gender distinction is very healthy.” The overwhelming majority of commenters on this site, and others, were outraged by the cover, and the now the story has become “Jesus Christ, leave the little girl alone, and everyone associated with the story should have their careers end. Now.” Gawker even ran a piece called “Can We Stop Calling Shiloh Jolie-Pitt a Lesbian?” Here you go:

The tabs are freaking out that Shiloh Jolie-Pitt looks like a LITTLE BOY; this issue was of such pressing importance that Life & Style put it on the cover.

But people have been freaking out over this for a couple months.

 

Written by Kaiser at Celebitchy

Early in her career, I kind of liked Chloe Sevigny. I still think she’s a pretty underrated actress, but her personality sucks the big one. In interviews, she comes across as that too-cool-for-school, snotty, faux-hipster type, like Gwyneth Paltrow, only Chloe probably think Paltrow is a Goopy sellout. My opinion of Chloe changed the first time I ever read a significant interview with her, and I still remember the issue - May 2001, Harper’s Bazaar. She talked about how Gwyneth “wished” she was like JFK Jr’s wife Carolyn Bessette, and how Jennifer Lopez was fabulous in a “ghetto” way. All in all, she was funny because she was so stuck up her own ass (much like Gwyneth).

Since then, I’ve always been on the look out for other hilarious Chloe interviews, but they’re few and far between. Maybe her publicist realizes how badly Chloe comes across. Or maybe Chloe just thinks interviews are beneath her. In any case, I’m not going to pass up this gem - Chloe is the cover girl for the April issue of Elle UK. And the interview is just what I hoped for:

 

Written by Kaiser at Celebitchy

When I first saw Rihanna in this strange contraption of an outfit, I only saw it from the chest up, and I thought, “Oh, what’s the big deal?” Seriously, it could have been cool. The neckline is sexy, the fabric is interesting, and the shade is lovely. But what f-cking designer picks up this fabric and thinks, “Leggings… combined with parachute pants, attached to a billowy sleeved blouse, with a navel-grazing neckline… and throw in some goddamn massive shoulder pads too!” Oh, it’s some dude named Alexandre Vauthier, that’s who designed it. These dumb massive shoulders are his “thing”. Gah. Trust a dude to make women look like linebackers.

Anyway, this is what Rihanna decided to wear to the Echo Awards in Berlin. I wonder what the Germans thought of her. Between the Shiloh bowl cut, the outfit, and the shoulder pads, I’m not sure Rihanna is the best ambassador for any music scene.

 

Written by Kaiser at Celebitchy

During the Olympics, I avoided covering Shaun White not because I don’t care for him, but because talking about Shaun makes me feel dirty. Good-dirty. Because he’s one of those guys that does it for me, and I have no idea why. It’s not like he’s some Jon Hamm-esque heartthrob. It’s not like I look at photos of Shaun and think “I need to get with that.” Even looking at him shirtless on this new issue of Rolling Stone doesn’t really do anything for me sexually. But when I watch him interviewed, or see him break into one of those huge grins after rocking the half-pipe, and I want him. He’s f-cking adorable.

Shaun White has revolutionized snowboarding, won the big gold in Vancouver and lit his snowboard aflame, Hendrix-style, on the cover of the new issue of Rolling Stone, joining an elite club of athletes to appear on our cover not once, but twice. And as the focused, business savvy White tells it, a lot of his recent success on the half-pipe and off can be attributed to a new addition to his life: “Getting into music has changed my personality and my way of doing things,” he reveals to RS writer Vanessa Grigoriadis. “I”m far more open now.”

White, who began snowboarding at six and went pro at 13, has recently returned to one of his early loves — skateboarding — but he does more shredding on one of his three Les Pauls. Jimi Hendrix, Guns n’ Roses and Led Zeppelin are in regular rotation; “Whole Lotta Love” is his favorite-ever song. “I think guitar is the best thing in the world,” he says. “It’s the only thing where no matter what I do, I can’t do it all myself.”